Get Ready

BEDA is a thing tomorrow. And it's happening. Do it with me. Blog errday. I don't care if you never blog anymore, don't have anything to say, or are going through a midlife crisis. LET'S DO IT.

*cue pump up jams*

I Wanna Make You Happy

Drinking: Hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps.
Listening: Junk of the Heart - The Kooks
Quote: "Enjoy it. Because it's happening."

Sometimes I wonder why the world seems like a different world than the one you live in every day.

Why other people's lives are more appealing.

Why the world looks different when you are listening to music.

Or see it through a lens.

Or are with different people.

I think a lot of it has to do with things that are new and exciting, aka not routine. But everyone has routine. I mean, some people have very unpredictable lives and such, but to a certain extent... everyone has routine. I, actually, am a big fan of routine. It's a lot less stressful for me. And I feel like, to each and every person, their routine is equally mundane... however exotic it may seem to some. So, I want to be able to keep my "youthful vigor" when it comes to things that become routine.

I try really really hard not to become used to things in Chicago. The first few train rides I took to school I remember admiring everything. Staring out the window, not needing a book or headphones to keep me occupied. While I still rarely read or listen to music on the train, and still use the window as my main form of entertainment, I see less.

I'm trying to become more observant. I think all too often I'm tied up in my own thoughts and my own little world. I look, but I don't see. Remember when you were little and you used to have those activities where you were asked to recall what color sweater your teacher was wearing or what the poster on the wall said? I was never good at those. This past weekend I played Scene It for the first time. They showed a movie clip, of which I watched the whole thing. But I couldn't even answer the question "What color shirt was Dan wearing?"

Look less, see more. A goal.


(Ps. THANK YOU for voting. It means the world. Unfortunately, I didn't win.. but oh well. :] )

Please, sir?

Good day, my friends. 


So, for the last month or so I've been jumping through hoops, seeing a dozen different people, filling out several forms, and sending countless e-mails to try and get this thing called an internship set in stone. I really wasn't telling anybody, because I hate talking about things until they are final, in case they fall through. But this is as final as it's going to get I feel. 


I'll be interning in London this summer. w00t!


Once I know more, I'll be sure to share. But, for now, I just know I will be in London for 8 weeks interning with a company. The interviews will come later.


With that being said, the program I'm going through is having a caption contest. I really wasn't going to enter, because I didn't want to do any of this self promotional stuff, but the prizes are just too grand not to try. So, if you click this link to the poll, you will find my caption at the bottom. I'm the last one, "Alysson." : /

I love you all.

If you don't think it's funny, I don't mind one bit. I really don't much go for creating captions. But, I did. So here we are. Also, you can vote more than once if you feel so kind, like on your computer, then phone, then iPad. Also, you can vote on every browser, so if you have Chrome and Safari, you can vote twice. 

Vote Here!!!

If you guys don't want to, I totally understand. But my mommy says I should be less scared of asking my friends to vote for me. :]

Have a lovely weekend! As for me? I have zumba, and then "the pile" is going ice skating downtown, followed by pictures at the awesome awesome light installation at the bean.

all my love,

allyson

You're the Wax in my Mustache

“The world is full of magic things, 

patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.”

-W.B. Yeats

I feel like... my brain never stops.

I feel like... I'm learning more about myself this semester than I have in... I long time.

I've learned that I'm my own worst critique.
I've learned that I have more to learn about how to do what I want to do in my business that requires more self-motivation than I ever knew...
...which I have, but...
I've learned that I am my own worst critique. Which sometimes pushes me to no avail.
I've learned that it's not other people that brings out my competitiveness, it's myself. Almost to the point of self deprecation.
I've learned that it's not "being different" that I always strived for, but it was trying to figure out how to be the most honest version of myself. Trying to sort out the cultural influences vs. my own identity.
Because I've learned that here, in Chicago, I am very much not different. And that's cool. Actually, in several ways, I'm very much like a lot of people. Which is also cool. Because of "mutual weirdness."
I've learned that, if I ran my own utopia, advertising would never be tacky or malicious. It would never be pollution or annoying. It would be a source of communication, the message of one or several people communicated as art. And the thing is, I don't think this is too far-fetched. Like, Apple ads. They're always pretty. And they're always put out by a company who really, truly, believes in the power of the product. Forget sales, numbers, money. Steve Jobs created something. Something that he wanted to share. That's what advertising is, to me, at least today. People wanting to share what they believe in / work hard on / want you to know.

I've been thinking a lot about advertising, marketing, and design... and how closely linked they really are. And what I hate about them and what I like about them and how I can do what I do without compromising what I feel about the business before being sucked in.

Yesterday we were talking about how design is used as a weapon. Even, very much so, in seemingly innocent commercialism. I hate it. I hate it so much. I wrote a promise to myself. "I will never use design as a weapon."

I feel like one of the biggest challenges in life is being consciously aware of how culture affects you, negatively and positively, so that you are able to sort through the "whys" and the "whats" and the real reasons for things without compromising yourself.

I want to go into the business fully aware of who I am. Otherwise I fear I will exit the business spiteful and crazy craze.

Anyway...

I've learned that hot yoga didn't change my life, contrary to... everyone else. (Blog on that in a few days.)
I've learned that I'm very conscious of sounding pretentious, and avoid sharing things because of it. I have deleted so many Facebook statuses, tweets, etc. because of this. I have a huge fear of seeming pretentious.
I've learned that sometimes my extreme justification of purchases is unhealthy, and that sometimes it's okay to spend a little more money than you should.
I've learned that "I don't have time for a boyfriend." is sometimes legitimately true and not a sad attempt at an excuse for self-imposed singledom. Well, actually, I would say, "I don't have brain space for a boyfriend." That sounds pathetic. But, I'm also very aware of the fact that I am naive and that "when I meet the right person..." and that you very much don't have much brain space to spare, ever. BUT RIGHT NOW THIS IS HOW I FEEL.
I've learned that I am pathetic, possibly.

And finally, I have learned, most importantly, that I have way more to learn than I can even fathom and that freaks me out.

THE END. I think I'm going to go make some bacon for dinner.

Ps. There are so many new wonderful people following me, this is crazy. Also exciting. I love you guys. You're all such interesting women.

Introversion, Solitude, and TFiOS

"Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, 

and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together

 unless and until all living humans read the book. 

And then there are books…which you can’t tell people about, 

books so special and rare and yours that advertising your affection 

feels like a betrayal."

From my own experiences, I have noticed different types of wanting to be alone. While my tendencies usually sway toward the introverted side of things rather than the extroverted, I've never completely defined myself as an introvert. Some may say that's due to my pathological fear of labeling myself, but I have always defined it more as independence than introversion. Nevertheless, I, and I'm quite sure all of you, just want to be alone sometimes.

I've always been fascinated with being alone, or solitude, as it is. Solitude can be helpful, peaceful, relaxing, and it can help you grow mentally, spiritually, and physically. On the other hand, I think we all know solitude can drive us up a wall. When we let our solitude get the best of us, our thoughts start turning unhealthy. Thoughout history we have seen that, with time, people in isolation start going mentally crazy.


"The whole value of solitude depends upon one's self; it may be a sanctuary or a prison, a haven of repose or a place of punishment, a heaven or a hell, [it is] as we ourselves make it." -- John Lubbock

• For me, there's the desire to be alone due to the less attractive alternative. This usually happens when a gathering/party/contrived social gathering is on the horizon. Sometimes this desire to be alone is largely selfish, and should be pushed through. An evening of extroversion is often healthy, needed, and actually tons of fun.

• There's the desire to be alone after you have had a long day or week filled with high levels of extroversion, also known as a desire for recovery time. When this happens, it is most beneficial to give into it. Well, for me. If I don't let myself take a night off and be alone, I will probably be unattractively cranky the next day.

• There's the desire for solitude after big life events or a succession of life changes. This is the reflection period. If I find myself go go going without time to stop, I loose control. Taking time to be alone to reflect on events, pray, center yourself, etc. is probably the most healthy type of solitude.

• And then, there's a desire for solitude that forces you to let it run it's course, like I experienced today. It's the reason I wanted to watch the last Harry Potter film alone, and the reason I didn't want to talk to anybody the rest of the night afterwards. It's the reason that, after you finish a good book, you can't quite deal with exiting the fantasy and entering reality right away.

It's like you need processing time. Your brain needs time to decipher between what you just read and how it's going to apply it do your reality. You need time to remember the fact that the characters aren't, actually, your best friends. You need space to sort out the emotional jaunt these fictional characters just put you through, in order not to seem like an out of sorts human the rest of the day.

Today I finished The Fault in Our Stars, and was definitely forced to let this last one run it's course. So many thoughts to think and things to feel. I enjoyed it, for sure. And, I didn't cry. I know most people bawled, but I promise you I felt it just the same. Just without the waterworks.

I want to go back and define all the words I didn't understand, and post-it note the crap out of it with quotes.

Yeah. I'll go do that. TFiOS - your thoughts?


"You are so busy being you that you have no idea how utterly unprecedented you are."
- Augustus Waters by way of John Green's pen

Do you ever think about your life in terms of toiletries?

But see, I'm serious. Do you ever buy body wash or Q tips or shampoo and think about how long you'll have it, or where you'll be in life the next time you need to buy it? I do this all the time. Toiletries make me reflective. I just took a bath. While I used my body wash, I thought about how long I'd had it. Where I was when I bought it and what it has seen me through... good and bad.

Or it's even more easy with something like makeup remover pads or something, because you know 60 will last about 60 days. So when I buy them, I think about where I'll be in 60 days. Like, "Oh, by the time I'll get through these I'll know the answer to (fill in life question here.)"





Oh, dear.

Birthdays: 21st Edition

I had an awesome 21st birthday.
But, I was sick.

The day before my birthday got a hotel room and hung out with two of my friends from my previous college. We did strange things like tour biospheres and make friends with turtles. We did fun things like continue my tradition of eating out at the Brewers stadium and having red bull slushies. We took full advantage of the pool, semi advantage of the hot tub (as it was about 20 degrees above a safe temperature to have a human body immersed in for longer than a second) and tried to have fun. 

Then I got an awful sour stomach and awful chills. 

Before I go on, I must inform you. This was not because of alcohol. I had had about a half a glass of wine and 1/4 of one of those fluffy Smirnoff raz things that are pretty much juice.

But, this was fine. I had the chills for about 2 hours, it stunk, I slept, I woke, all better. Happy Birthday to me.

I spent my birthday with my sister and her boyfriend, then, and they took me to my very first roller derby. You know, like those things in Whip It? Yup. A full out, real life roller derby. They bought me a beer, I got a wristband for it, and watched women skate with an ability I will never have. It was awesome, don't get me wrong, I just didn't feel well.

One sip.

"Do you like it? It's my favorite kind."

Two sip.

"Yeah, it's... nice."

Three sip.

"Do you want another beer?"

"No, I'm good."

Oh look, another beer.

One sip.

Oh, come on. My sip was larger than that.

Two sip.

Seriously? This cup is seriously not that large.
Perhaps if I just tuck it under my seat no one will notice.

Cue chills. Mad, painful, body aching chills.

Cue ignoring.

Cue shout out from the MC... something along the lines of "Allyson, future roller derby legand's 21st birthday."

Cue forgetting to be embarrassed on account of the fact that my body was shutting down on me.

Cue going home and leaving two half empty cups of beer.

So, turns out I don't like beer so much.

That night was spent drinking apple cider, shaking, covered in 3 layers of blankets, and watching Family Stone. But it was nice. Fitting, really, seeing as that's more me than anything, really.

The next morning, the morning after my 21st, I went to my nephew's Christmas program service. Try convincing someone that a headache, body aches, and sour stomach is legitimately from a flu bug on the morning after your 21st. Because, like.. haha. It's like you're hungover! Hah. Heh. HA. Mmk. 

Plenty of Zantec, Advil D, Tylenol, Pepto, and 6 days later... I was healed.

Finally, a few nights later we went out for a friend's 21st after my high school's Christmas concert. That night ended up being a celebration for both of us. Free sangria, balloon, bar experience and all. The picture above is from that evening. My roommate and bestie TOA* and I. 

Anyway, Happy New Year, guys. :] 

Did you watch Dick Clark? He's still orange.

Ian Axel - This is the New Year

Right now I'm reading Will Grayson, Will Grayson for the first time. It's strange reading street names and being able to picture them exactly how they actually are in my head. Down to something as detailed as a park bench on such and such a corner. Enjoying it, for the most part, thus far!

xxx

*The other Alyson

Ps. Okay, okay, after a good number of years ignoring this Doctor Who thing (which, as Kristi so nicely corrected me is "Doctor" as opposed to "Dr." :] ), consider myself convinced. I will start it. Soon. 

Pps. I also love New Girl, but I feel as though Zooey's character is actually the worst one right now. Her character has one characteristic: quirky. They need to start giving her some depth, or something, real quick. Thoughts?