"Be Yourself."
For goodness sake, I'll think I'll ask the question everyone secretly asks themselves, "What does 'be yourself' even mean?"
"Dare to be different."
But, why? Why should we be different? Different how? "Different" has no context, no meaning.
What if you wear a flamingo suit and walk to class. Does this make you different enough? What if this was the norm? Should you wear jeans to class so that you could be "different" once again?
Stargirl was different. "She was elusive. She was today. She was tomorrow. ... We did not know what to make of her. In our minds we tried to pin her to a corkboard like a butterfly, but the pin merely went through and away she flew."
To be elusive means to be hard to comprehend or define; evading grasp or pursuit. I was reading this book today and texted the guy who let me borrow it (hello, friend. :] ) This was the exchange:
Me: "But is it good to be elusive?"
Him: "Yes."
Me: "Why?"
Him: "Because it makes you different and interesting, but it's ever so hard to do."
Me: "But this shouldn't be our goal, to be "different and interesting." That in and of itself a contradiction. Our goal should be to be ourselves, which for some people isn't elusive at all. So, I don't like having this "elusiveness" pinned as a worthy goal, you know?
He told me to keep reading. So I have been... and for her character, it all makes sense... but I'm speaking in general. Because advice like "be yourself" and "march to the beat of your own drum" and "dare to be different" is all too common. Almost as if we are not doing something against "the norm," we aren't trying hard enough to stand out.
I don't like the act of "following the norm" to be seen as conforming in a negative way. Let's consider the definition of that word. Conform. In the simplest definition of the word it means to "be similar, be in line with." So, conforming isn't always a bad thing. Many people these days are trying to find the most obscure objects, music, tastes or clothes just to avoid conform. Why do we need to be different than everybody else? Being different shouldn't be our goal. Everything is normal in one context or another.
But then, how do we be ourselves?
Thank God we are not our own.
"Different" has no standard.
But God has one for us.
"For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So weather we live or die, we belong to the Lord." -Romans 14:7-8
Conforming in and of itself isn't bad. Conforming to worldly ideals, thoughts, and standards is.
So really, we can stop searching. Stop playing this game of trying to keep up with a constantly changing societal norm. Why be elusive? We already have a purpose, a purpose we shouldn't be trying to keep away from the grasp of others. We already have a standard to live by - His standard. And yeah, compared to the world, that IS different.
"If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you." John 15:19
Congrats, friends. You're daring to be different. Thanks for letting me share thoughts.
... and I'm not even half way through my book.
... and I'm not even half way through my book.
That's deep.
ReplyDeleteI feel like in a way being yourself is elusive. Everyone is elusive ... because we can't read each other's thoughts. You may wear Uggs and a Northface everyday, and I may try to label you because of that, but what do I really know about how you think or how you view the world or what you eat for breakfast or even, why you like Uggs? Do you like them because they're comfortable or because they're practical and warm or because they're popular? Or maybe the shoe store just had a really good sale, and you figured why not?
ReplyDeleteYou seem pretty elusive to me.
This was a really good blog post, I hope you enjoy the rest of Star Girl! =]
I agree about conforming. I remember when everyone started saying, "Oh well she's just conforming. She's not an individual at all!" I don't think it's a bad thing to conform when you try to get along and fit in with the people you see everyday. In the end you're going to end up being like them in some way or another.
ReplyDeleteI think in a way everyone is elusive. It's sometimes hard to understand why someone is the way they are, or why they do the things they do. Just being yourself, I think, means staying true to your beliefs and not bending your morals because of other people. That's being different also, because a lot of people will change how they are just to fit in. Conforming in a wrong way.
I think there's a bit of a double standard with regards to being different, too. Society says you should be different, but not TOO different, because then you'll just be shunned. So everyone should be different in the same way, which is a bit of a contradiction.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your thoughts on this one. Being yourself is a more worthy goal. Even if we don't really know how to be ourselves. Since everyone is unique anyway, trying to be yourself will make you different from other people.
I thought this was a good blog post. :)
Thanks for the positive feedback and interesting discussion points.
ReplyDeleteEmily and Kate - That's an interesting thought, that everyone is elusive. I think I definitely agree. And that Uggs and Northface comparison is fantastic.
Elizabeth - Definitely! It's like we have to be a certain kind of different. Which is ridiculous, and defeats the purpose!