Thou Art as Fat as Butter.

"[Thou] leathern-jerkin, crystal-button,

knot-pated, agatering, puke-stocking, caddis-garter,

smooth-tongue, Spanish pouch!" -Henry IV Part I

I hearby declare the month of January for this blog "Shakepeare Has Better Insults Than You" month. I enjoy a well worded diss from the likes of William Shakespeare. Goodness knows, there are plenty of them. If you were to be handed a list of them, one may easily think the man had a bit of an anger management problem due to the sheer volume of insults. William, however, knew how to dish it out in style. I would be honored to be friends with such a temper.

Ok, now I mustache you a question. This way all you sneaky little readers can comment now. Because I know you're out there. I have proof. You thought wearing sneakers was enough, but nothing gets past me! I have yellow drinking objects! (The last two sentences are inside jokes courtesy of a beloved video on how to catch a ninja. I apologize for your lack of understanding, I just couldn't resist making a select few readers chuckle.)

Okay. My question(s) are as follows:

1. Do you zip your pants before you button, or button before you zip?

2. If you were drowning, would your mouth be open or closed?

3. What song should I cover on my Luke the Uke?

a. Charlie Chaplin

b. Coin Laundry

c. Grey or Blue

d. You and I

e. Insert Suggestion Here

I do have quite a bias towards this last question, but I'll see what you intelligent people think. This is also a sneaky way of me getting you to listen to more songs that I enjoy. Tehehe.

Today on my way to visit the Stacinator, I was reminded of a revelation I had on my (record speed) drive to the wedding a few weeks ago. I realized that when I drive and listen to the radio, I turn it up when a song I especially believe is my jam comes on. Well, of course. Lots of people do this. Then, when my next hip swooshin' jam comes on, I turn it up again. After three or four of these head bobbin' tunes, I start to realize a strange prevalent throb in my head. This, my friends, is because after I turn the volume up for one of my jams, I don't turn it back down before again turning it up for my next jam. Hence, the volume gets unnecessarily out of control. There is no need for this. I can enjoy and even swoosh my hips to a song delivered at a much softer decibel. Does anyone ever find themselves doing this?

Uff. There are always pictures I want to post that have nothing to do with lyrics I want to post that have nothing to do with what I want to talk about it my blog. Is this okay? Are you okay with a photo that has nothing to do with lyrics that have nothing to do with my blog? Oh look! Another question. (See? I tried to relate the irrevent witty picture with something in my blog. Hence the awful transitions about mustaching questions. Blargh)

Rad: I splurged on O.P.I. today, and it's my mommy's birfdai. :]

Unrad: Sickness

Did Shakespeare have a mustache ever? Probably. There, even more picture/blog relevance for you.