Eleven Eight

Life experiences. What do I have to say about them? Not much.

But...

I have them. Especially today.

I don't think my mind has fully settled to step back and view this day from a third person point of view. This is important... looking at your decisions (or lack thereof) from a third person's point of view. As if they were happening to someone else. It's very dangerous to make decisions when you have emotions trying to creep into your logic and screw it for all it's worth. Third person. Step back and take a look. SO hard to do.

I feel I am still on the roller coaster, but I'm quite close to getting off for good. My body was just thrown and jerked all the way down from a steep drop until it ended with a thud, before the smooth sailing to the end arrived. It still hasn't.

Today is November 8th, 2009.

I am eighteeen.

I am wearing a red long sleeve shirt, my payless flower flats, Charlotte Russe necklace, my ring that reminds me of the crown of thorns, Vigoss jeans, glasses, and my hair is straight.

Bollocks.

I am behind on my novel, because all of my emotional creative juices were stuffed into one compartment, and I cannot find my way back into the necessary compartments. Not my fault.

Not my fault is what I wish I could say, and what I have convinced myself to believe. So let me be, please.

Life experiences. I still have nothing quite insightful to say on the topic, except for the fact that I am glad for them. Good and bad. Stupid and smart. I used to learn often by observing other people make mistakes, and following their examples. I've just begun to make more of the mistakes myself, and I am thankful for this as well. God is teaching me from a more direct perspective, and giving me the ability to relate to people on topics at a more personal, relatable level. However wonderfully frustrating the mistake.

I apologize if you may be reading this and have no idea what I am talking about. If you do, thank you for your honest friendship. If you don't, ask me about it sometime. Perhaps I share with you the story.

Well, goodbye November 8th, 2009.

You will be remembered.

Rad: The girls I talked with today. You're special, I hope you know that. Thank you.

Unrad: A certain gender. Take a wild guess on which it is.

There is nothing you can do that could make me love you less. - Nooma Episode 10